Undoubtedly, there is a bit of satisfaction
on investing in a new bit of kit. The arrival of the FedEx van and the delivery
of the anticipated box on the doorstep feels just like Christmas, except of
course for the decorations, the excessive amount of food and a home invasion by
a bearded fat man, who might find himself facing serious labor issues revolving
around his use of elves and reindeer.
It's a wonderful feeling though, taking out the
exacto knife, cutting the tape and releasing a flow of Styrofoam packaging that
seems to linger around the house months after their initial arrival. Are we
sure those things aren't reproducing on contact with air, like some silent,
furless tribble?
Such moments create
the excitement over the potential of new creative opportunities. It
creates a wonderful swell of emotion, which we can experience repeatedly. At
least until, your bank account is overdrawn or the credit card has melted from
overuse. But before you get there, there might be other signs that may offer
fair warning before you end up at a freeway off-ramp with a sign reading,
"Will retouch images for food".
1. You have run out of space for all the original packaging
material.
The justification of course is to retain the
resale value, when something newer and shinier is calling you like the Greek sirens. But now they've displaced the clothes in the closet, which lay piled
in a heap on the lounge chair. Now, the only way to discern which clothes are
clean or not is the sniff test, which your significant other keeps insisting is
not that reliable.
2. Your spine has gone out of alignment because of the weight of
the camera bag.
That exhalation of air that you release each
time you pick up the bag may be an indication of weight being an issue. The
additional thirty pounds that I carry around my waistline is at least well
distributed, but the same might not be said for the bag or backpack that
carries equipment that you never end up using. What might have looked like a
cool walk in your twenties now looks like the initial signs of hip
displacement.
3. Your most passionate creative effort is measuring MTF curves
photographing brick walls.
Knowing that we got what we paid for is
important, especially when it comes to the sharpness and the resolution quality
of lenses. However, things may have been gone too far, when you are making
critical assessments such as whether the style of the brick wall is American or English Bond and if the gaps between bricks each measure 3/8 inches.
The fact you are using GPS data and Google maps to locate the
"perfect" wall is verging on the obsessive and is certainly making
your neighbors very nervous.
4. You become depressed and angry when the manufacturer releases a
new version.
It feels like a betrayal like in grade school
when little Debra Martinez gave Phillip Taylor the biggest cut of chocolate
cake and which you were sure Debra was going to give you because you let her
cheat off your test after she promised you were going to be her new best friend
and you believed her because she was so pretty and you already liked her and...
Well, it was wrong then and it's wrong now. Damn her.
5. You own camera bags that never carry camera
equipment.
They are there in the closet, in the garage,
piled in a heap beneath the desk, camera bags that held the promise of
perfection: the ideal shape, support strap, compartment size. They seemed
ideal, the best and final solution, a bag to rule them all. Now, they are empty
as their promise. It doesn't work now, because...there's this new lens
